Previously an article was written about the impact of mental illness on the family. Nothing was really mentioned, however, as to what a family member can do to help, or to cope with a situation. The following tips are a compilation from a variety of sources that may be helpful to family and friends. By no means is this article a substitute for therapy or intended to be a finite list of suggestions. It merely appears as a suggestion list.

1 - Get help for yourself and other family members: You may think that the only person that could benefit from talking to someone is the person with the mental illness, but that is untrue. Anyone who is involved in the situation may be feeling the affects and could benefit from one-on-one counseling. Many agencies provide free or geared-to-income counseling services. Private psychologists and counselors may be more expensive but often times some or all of the cost may be covered through insurance. Remind yourself that it is OK to ask for help. It will make you stronger and more capable to care for someone else and yourself. Start with yourself and encourage other family members to talk to someone also. Find a support group for families that you can attend. It is therapeutic to know others are going through some of the same issues and may have help or advice that you could use. There is a comfort in knowing someone else understands. At very least, talk to your friends and family. You may have to approach them and show you are willing and comfortable talking with them about your situation.

2 - Don't ignore problems: Just because someone in the family has a mental illness it does not mean that problems can go unresolved. The family still has to function and problems still need to be dealt with as they come up. Set strict guidelines for behaviour you will and will not tolerate and have a plan in case one of the guidelines is not abided.

3 - Stay positive: This may be difficult when you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed bit it is important for you and your ill family member to be aware of the good things life is bringing to you. Use humor and laughter as a way to relieve stress and help keep you positive. Laughter may be the furthest thing from your mind but indulge yourself in an old episode of I Love Lucy, read the comics, rent a funny video or listen to a stand up comedian. You may find you feel less weighted down after a good chuckle.

4 - Nurture yourself: Spend some energy on you. Take a few moments (if that is all you can spare) to connect with your self and your own needs. Go for a walk, take a trip to the mall, call a good friend, make a craft, have a warm bath. You are important too! Try to find a balance of caring for you and for someone else that you can live with. It will help you both in the long term.

5 - Household help: Get help with the everyday tasks of running a household. If you are feeling overtaxed, ask a friend or family member to help out. Share the responsibilities among people living in the house. If possible, you can even hire someone to help with household duties.

6 - Know the facts: Learn about your loved one's illness. Talk to your family doctor, read, borrow videos, contact local agencies for information, surf the Internet, and talk to people who have gone through the illness themselves. By knowing the facts, the situation may seem less scary and more manageable.

7 - Remember the good times: Recall the fond memories of your partner, child or sibling and how you felt about them. Try to keep a piece of those memories with you so you can remember the love you have for your family member and give you hope for more good times to come. Look for a piece of those good times in everyday. Maybe its just a familiar look or an inside joke that can help you connect your past memories to something positive about today.

8 - Accept that you are not responsible: You did not cause this illness nor can you be solely responsible for treating it. You can help make important decisions, if your loved one agrees, but you cannot make the issue go away no matter how much you try.

9 - Get the word out: Families need to be the fires to combat the stigma surrounding mental illness. Don't let it become a barrier to interacting with friends or family or coworkers. Use the situation to help bring awareness about mental illness.

10 - Learn new stress management techniques and ways of relaxing: Learn how to deal with stress positively by taking a stress management course. Try yoga or Tai Chi, listen to relaxation tapes, meditate, keep physically active, engage in a hobby, use visualization and imagery. Look in your paper or ask your doctor for places to learn about relaxation and stress management.

Being a friend or family member of someone with a mental illness is often a very thankless and tiring job. Being a caregiver is not often a role we chose for ourselves, but rather it is a role we are given. We take on the duty and carry out the task with courage and compassion. But who looks after the family? You have to. It is an all-consuming taks to be a caregiver to someone else and to yourself but it may be one of the most important tasks you can ever do.